Our Dear Kelsey,

At the time we write this letter, you are just barely one year old. You are adorable, full of personality, and are beginning to take your first steps. There is a large “life-step” in front of you, that as your parents, it is our responsibility to make a decision on your behalf. From the time that you were identified with a profound hearing loss, we have been faced with an important decision that may impact the rest of your life. Nothing is more important to us as parents, than ensuring we provide our children with every opportunity to succeed. As such, we have decided that it is in your best interest to be bilaterally implanted with a Cochlear Implant. At the time of this letter, your surgery is only two days away. We anticipate that when you are older, the time will come when you will ask us, “Why did you choose to give me cochlear implants?”


Although we will certainly strive to answer that question at the time of your asking, we wanted you to have this letter where we could explain to you the thoughts and feelings we had at the time we came to this conclusion. Time and experiences will ultimately continue to shape our overall assessment of this decision, so we hope that this letter will help you understand our hopes, excitement, and concerns that have surrounded the choice before us.

Kelsey, you are a beautiful girl with such a vibrant and curious personality. In truth, we see so many traits and characteristics in you that remind us of your older siblings. You are happy, funny, spontaneous, and strong. Throughout our entire decision making process, we kept saying, “Whatever we choose, our Kelsey will succeed.” We want you to know that we truly believe that.

The decision to give you a Cochlear Implant was not a simple one. We had many strong feelings FOR and AGAINST proceeding with the surgery. We feel it is only fair to you to share some of the thoughts and feelings we have had.

We have a testimony that our family was prepared for you to join us long before you were born. Your mother gained a college education focused in Deaf Studies and ASL, and is privileged to work each day with Deaf Students in Utah’s Education system. Your father, although not nearly as fluent as your mother, took Sign Language classes in High School and in College. Our desires to learn Sign Language long before we were even married; we believe, was part of the preparation process to have you join our family. We have signed with you ever since you were identified as Deaf. Your older siblings are receiving in-home instruction not only from us, but also an instructor who visits several times a month. This environment, coupled with your intellect and personality have allowed you to have a communicating vocabulary of nearly 60 signs. Your communication success is well advanced of other individuals your age. For this reason we felt implants could be unnecessary. Emotionally we struggled with the idea of an implant, as we never wanted you to grow up believing your parents thought you were “broken” and needed to be “fixed.” Please believe us as we tell you that you are perfect just the way you are. We know that there may be some individuals you interact with that may chose to be cruel or poke fun, we apologize for any social stress our decision to implant you may cause. We believe you to be strong enough to withstand any teasing or unkindness that may come your way.

Although we had hesitations with the implant process, we also could think of many reasons to proceed with the surgery. You are a valuable part of a “loud” family. Your older siblings love to sing, yell, laugh, and in general make insane amounts of noise. We want you to be able to fully participate in the commotion. Although music may still pose a challenge to you, there is much beauty in music that we wish you to have the opportunity to interact with. We live in a hearing world, and implants may also foster your independence. We wanted you to have every opportunity to succeed in whatever your interests may take you. While interpreting sounds may never be an effortless process, we also felt that an implant would provide you with a tool that may allow you to follow whatever dreams you have.

Ultimately Kelsey, our decision to implant came down to a few basic feelings. First, you are Deaf. You will always be Deaf, and our decision to implant you is in support of that Deafness and not in our efforts to change who you are. You are Deaf, and we love that about you. Being Deaf will help define you as an individual and will grant you access to a world of culture that your parents may never fully understand or appreciate. We want you to be a part of this culture and enjoy the blessings this culture provides.

Second, our decision to implant you is our effort to provide you with a TOOL. It will be up to you to determine how well this tool works and in what capacity you WANT this tool to work for you. We are here to support you and the decisions you make. This means, as you reach the age where you can make decisions for yourself, we will never force you to use this tool. As you grow, if a cochlear implant impedes in your ability to be who you want to be, then we support your decision to remove the device and communicate solely through American Sign Language. Our family will further our efforts and education so we can always communicate with you in this way. If; however, you wish to continue using your cochlear implants, then we will also make every effort to ensure you are equipped with the technology you need to succeed. We felt strongly that choosing to implant you at a young age, would give you the best chance to succeed, but also would “give you the choice” later in life to decide whether or not you wanted sound in your life. We do, and will support the decisions you make.

We love you. We are so happy that you are a part of this family. Your smile brings so much joy into our lives. We hope this letter will help you understand why we are making the choice we have made. We hope you will always feel comfortable in asking us any questions. We are here for you.

Love,

Mom and Dad